Best Save The Date Ever

How badly do you wish you were friends with this couple?!

How To Graduate From Life With Honors

Mattie on her graduation day. Graduated at the top of her class!

Dealing with the cable company has caused more anxiety than I can imagine.  My irritation led me to review some life lessons. Thought I would share them with you too. Forgive the sappyness.

1. Take into account that great love and great achievements involve great risk.
2. When you lose, don’t lose the lesson.
3. Follow the three R’s:  Respect for self, Respect for others and Responsibility for all your actions.
4. Remember that not getting what you want is sometimes a wonderful stroke of luck.
5. Learn the rules so you know how to break them properly.
6. Don’t let a little dispute injure a great friendship.
7. When you realize you’ve made a mistake, take immediate steps to correct it.
8. Spend some time alone.
9. Your job won’t take care of you when you are sick. Your friends and parents will. Stay in touch.
10. Open your arms to change, but don’t let go of your values.
11. Time heals almost everything. Give time, time.
12.  Remember that silence is sometimes the best answer.
13. Live a good, honorable life. Then when you get older and think back, you’ll be able to enjoy it a second time.
14. Share your knowledge. It’s a way to achieve immortality.
15. Time heals almost everything. Give time, time. 
16. Be gentle with the earth. 
17. Once a year, go someplace you’ve never been before. 
18. Remember that the best relationship is one in which your love for each other exceeds your need for each other.
19. Judge your success by what you had to give up in order to get it. 
20. Approach love and cooking with reckless abandon 
21. Eat a cookie once a week. You’ll feel better
22. Know that the best is yet to come

Thanks to smaknews.com and a website that listed a Nepalese totem message for the compiled lessons. The cookie lesson is all me.

Now And Then

My blog is more of a lifestyle blog than a cultural/race blog.  However a big part of who I am has been shaped by my mixed heritage, so sometimes I’m going to go there on the subject matter. I also happen to think a lot about racism, economic end educational inequality (separate from race), world hunger, gay rights….child abuse, child trafficking, animal cruelty….pretty much every injustice you can imagine.  Blame it on my nurse mother who works with abused children, volunteers with the homeless and adopts shelter pets.

Anyway…hopefully everyone thinks about at least a few of the above-mentioned issues some of the time. I suspect that most people tend to sweep them under the brain-rug until something like the Arizona Immigration Law creates a massive dust bunny impossible to sweep away.

I’m not saying that that immigration reform is not needed (frankly, I really don’t know enough to debate the how’s or the why’s).  What I am saying is that we’re on a slippery slope; this law will absolutely lead to racial profiling. Above, I’ve shared a few American illustrations through the years for thought.

I came into this post with the POV that the U.S. hasn’t come very far in the inequity game. As I typed I realized this is a fallacy. None of my friends think much of interracial dating. Places of work take time to celebrate diversity month. Companies are investing in multicultural markets. Boys can kiss on TV.  And we voted for our first African American President.

We have come far and I’m really proud of our country.  There will likely always be racists, traffickers, animal abusers, homophobes, etc..  What history has taught us and what I think is pretty freakin’ amazing is that every now and again radical acts- like this latest dust bunny- unify people to enact positive change.

As an aside, if you are feeling low about our country read “A Thousand Splendid Suns” for a tearful reminder of just how good we have it.

Power Of Social Media

Highlight of last night’s dinner  was when I told the manager, “do you know how many followers on Twitter I have?”  He got an earful about the power of social media, my  college summer job at J.Crew waiting on people and a similar earful from my equally charged up friend.  If you can’t tell, I have a thing about bad service. And I get a rush when I win.   Manager told me he was grateful “for the valuable lesson in customer service.”  I’m sure he and his team had a good laugh about the loser who talks about her virtual friends.

Aging

23rd birthday celebration at Medieval Times in the VIP section

The past couple of weeks leading up to my birthday had been tough.  I mulled over how much my priorities had changed over the course of eight years.  When you’re young, naïve and ready to take on the world you don’t think that the choices you make then will impact you to the degree that they do down the line….You might say I was in a bit of an existential state.  I kicked and screamed my way to 28.

However, I’m blessed with a strong support system (I’m grateful for them every day).  On my birthday, my family and friends made sure I felt acknowledged, appreciated and celebrated.  So while aging might not be all fun and games, it’s milestones like birthdays that allow you to take a moment and savor life and love.

There are still lots of fun and games.

Beerveza

No surprise that Bud Light is getting hip to Spanglish. Trying to woo all Latinos away from Corona, right into the arms of American beer goodness.

What might surprise you is that Spanglish is trendy for non-hispanic drinkers too! At least, that’s what Miller thinks.

Spanglish

By popular demand, here are some common Spanglish words.

• “Push” is translated as empujar. In Spanglish, “puchar” is used.
• Parquear is used instead of the correct Spanish word estacionar, to say “park.”
• Bye bye, rather than adios (you must say it with an accent to get the full Spanglish effect).
• Lonche really doesn’t mean “lunch.”
• Chopin. I’ll let you guess the English equivalent.
• Blogear, what I am doing right now.

How’d You Get That Flava’?

I relish the anonymity that high rise living provides me: coming, going, friending neighbors as I please. And lucky for me, until recently I’d managed to maintain a low, cordial profile in my building.

Cut to two months ago. Building engineer (B.E.) corners me in the elevator outright inquiring about my ethnic origins. I tell him I’m Puerto Rican prompting him to grin and remark, “I knew you had some flava’.” “Eew,” I thought, especially since I was looking pretty “flava-less” with no makeup, hair pulled back and workout clothes. However, I went about my day not realizing what was to come.

Since, I’ve been bombarded with requests to purchase low quality knock-off purses, watches and sunny’s at high quality prices. I’ve been invited to rap shows and hip hop performances. And I’ve been “hola’d” one too many a time.

Then, he actually had the gall to bring me breakfast in bed. One recent Saturday morning there was a knock at my door (funny since I have a doorman who anounces my visitors). I open the door to find B.E. with a lumber jack breakfast of sausage, eggs, bacon, jellied toast and hash browns. Dog hysterial, me dazed at the early hour, I accepted the plate (and promptly toss’d it due to germs).

At this point though I was paralyzed with fear. Would creepo always be lurking? How did he know I was in my apartment? What would he do next?? And how could he not get my hints?? I stayed in most of that day, scared of an encounter. A prisoner in my own gold coast apartment.

You see, as a woman and as a Latina I’ve been taught to be polite and not ruffle feathers. It would be culturally uncouth for me to have turned away the food. In this way, I was in fact a victim of my own cultural upbringing. A prisoner by choice.

This post was prompted by an essay I read entitled “Myth of a Latin Woman: Just Met a Girl Named Maria” http://jan.ucc.nau.edu/hdh9/e-reserves/Cofer_-_The_myth_of_the_Latin_women_PDF.pdf that talks about how Puerto Rican woman are often assumed to be overly sexual, partiers and skilled at domestic duties. Now I rarely claim racism or prejudice, but sometimes it’s impossible to ignore. Once in 7th grade I was cast as Rosa the maid in our school play (I declined). Even this week, someone asked if my dad hated Israel because he was middle eastern (umm, no and how dare you).

I’m not saying that B.E. would have treated me differently, but a part of me wonders…. Would he have asked a white female to a hip hop show? Would an Indian woman have accepted the breakfast? Did he assume that just because I am Puerto Rican I’d appreciate a knock-off purse?

You’ll all be proud to know that I finally fought back. I told him he was making me uncomfortable and his actions were inappropriate. For the most part, peace has been restored.

P.S. Most of the time, have to agree that I am pretty full of flava’.

Bienvenidos

When it comes to decision making, you can bet I’m a waffler. I tend to mull over pros and cons for days, writing lists, consulting with friends, researching all options via internet, TV and magazines. So it’s no surprise to me or anyone else in my life that it has taken me more than two years (and three BlogHer conferences) to finally blog.

The nail-in-the-coffin sealing my fate as a blogger happened during this year’s BlogHer session on finding your niche. Walking into the room, I was overwhelmed by normalcy. Capri pants, babies in slings, and bobs abounded. There I was with long layered hair, a sad looking laptop and no iphone to call my own.

When did this become a StepfordWives.Blogspot.Com panel?? How could anyone with a bob consider themselves to be a niche blogger. (Before my blogger friends get too upset with me I’d like to stress that there’s an epiphany on its way.) Unfortunately I tuned out the rest of the session. It wasn’t until later on during the cocktail and karaoke reception that I realized the error of my ways.

In true noritas nature, I did a walk-through before settling in on a crew. The walk-through serves the function of making my shyness look like “coolness.” First, I noticed there were varied hairstyles: long, short, curly, straight and even dual tones. And then I noticed there were various types of baby carrying methods: slings, strollers, arms. Now I’m thinking that I look too plain, should’ve worn heels, perhaps sported a temporary tat, maybe purchased some manic panic to update my ‘do….I have always quietly yearned for a single purple strand.

Anyway, during the reception I sidled up to various people to learn more about their stories. And boy, were the stories fascinating- and diverse. From battling infertility, to raising kids in a lesbian household, to bob laden women with the most offbeat jokes, everyone had something interesting to share (and since they’re bloggers we know disclosure was not due to the effects of the cocktail party).

So why did all of this jumpstart my blog? Well, I’m a ½ Puerto Rican, ½ Jordanian curly haired, olive skinned only child with divorced parents and a complicated last name. Rest assured, I’ve been judged.

Blogging is my attempt to share a bit about myself and my culture. It’s also a way for me to show solidarity with and apologize to all of the women I may have once judged.